kristina’s blog
samford psychologist kristina challands’ latest tips & advice
Refresh Your “Story of Us”
Most couples have a “story of us” that forms the basis of family myth and legend. Couple Jordan and Riley have a negative story that tends to predict the way they view their interactions and relationship. Dr John Gottman calls this ‘negative sentiment override’. It...
Steps to manage the depressing news cycle
The news of apocalyptic bushfires, soaring temperatures, drought-stricken towns and countryside, decimated wildlife, loss of life and habitat is increasing in its severity. It’s only natural that anyone exposed to both the reality and the stories and images presented...
What Matters To You, in 2020?
We’re surrounded by media exhorting us to set New Year’s resolutions for 2020. “Lose weight”, “Give up alcohol”; “Get a work/life balance”. Maybe we finished up the work year with our boss telling us next year it’s time to “take on more responsibility”, “work longer...
12 Days of Christmas (Self)Care
Even with many of us having time off work throughout the Christmas season, it often seems that we are still busier than ever. Here are the 12 Days of Christmas (Self)Care to help you through the holidays.
What happens in your first psychology session with me?
Deciding to seek psychological support for the first time can be a daunting decision, and, equally, attending your first psychology appointment can seem intimidating. I’ve put together this outline to help you understand what to expect and to make the process somewhat...
Turning Towards Our Partner to Build Trust
Every day in so many ways we have the opportunity to turn towards our partner and answer their bids for connection. When our partner calls out, “Honey check out this guy on TV”, they’re making a bid for connection. You may be busy finishing an...
36 questions, do they lead to love?
You’ve probably heard of the 36 questions that lead to love recently made popular by a New York Times columnist and featured in many places since then. And you might have scrolled through some of the questions; you probably scoffed a little (as if this could really...
How well do you really know your partner?
“What do you mean you don’t like word games?” I asked my husband last week. “We used to play Scrabble a lot when we met. What’s changed?” When we first meet our partners, we usually spend a lot of time getting to know each other. Time on the phone, time...
Is it Self-Care or Self Care? And other important questions related to caring about YOU
What is Self-care (or Self Care)? I am not just talking about going for expensive spa treatments or a yoga retreat in a remote hilltop in India. It can be any – ANY – activity that we do that takes care of our mental, emotional and physical health. It could be getting...
If this was true love, we wouldn’t need couples therapy
If this was true love, we wouldn't need couples therapy. This is a common belief from clients, but is it true? The research tells us that successful relationships take skills that can be learned. The Research Dr John Gottman has been researching relationships for over...
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